The pickles the food
by im1smartblonde
Summary: Naraku has all the jewel shards, and kagome and miroku are gone, that just leaves sango, and inuyasha together to hunt for pickles. who will they run into? and will they ever find the pickles


**Miroku and Inuyasha have just lost all the sacred jewel shards to Naraku, so now Naraku has the full Shikon no Tama.**  
  
Inuyasha: You're such a worthless monk Miroku!  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha, you're such a jerk!  
  
Miroku: *slightly wobbly and about to cry* I know I am! *bows head in depression*  
  
Sango: Psh, yeah you are! You just ruined ALL of our lives!  
  
Miroku: *singing* everybody hates me, nobody loves me, I might as well go eat some worms.  
  
Shippo: ew! Don't eat the worms! They're my friends!! *pulls some out of his pocket* see, this one is Billy, and Timmy and Edward!  
  
Miroku: *grabs them out of Shippo's hands and eats them*  
  
Shippo: Noo, my friends!  
  
Inuyasha: Your only friends!  
  
Kirara: *stares then begins to switch from fire, little, fire, little*  
  
Myoga: *watches Kirara and stares in fear* eep! Don't eat me! Everyone but Miroku turns their attention to Kirara  
  
Miroku: See, nobody even watches, or, pays attention to me! *starts to play with the beads around his wind tunnel flap thing* I wonder how these would look around me..  
  
Kagome: *reaches into her bag* Miroku, would you like a pickle to cheer you up?  
  
Miroku: What kind of a pickle?  
  
Kagome: A green one!  
  
*Totosai pops out of nowhere with his cow*  
  
Totosai: mm green, my favorite! *eats it and poofs away*  
  
Miroku: See, even Totosai gets the good green pickles!  
  
Kagome: But Miroku, you can have this nice purple one; see it matches your robes.  
  
Miroku: Lady Kagome, I appreciate your kindness but nobody loves me, so I shall rid everyone in this world of me *grabs the purple pickle and jumps off the nearest cliff*  
  
Sango: Wow, what a drama queen  
  
Shippo: Hey, I wanted that purple pickle!  
  
Inuyasha: Hey Kagome, got a red pickle in there?  
  
Kagome: Is that all I am? A red pickle haver? Maybe I shall join Miroku and I shall take ALL the pickles with me! Miroku, my love, I'm coming with you! *Jumps off cliff with her pickles*  
  
Shippo: Look what you did Inuyasha!  
  
Inuyasha: How is this my fault?  
  
Shippo: I don't know, I just have to blame someone, I'm a very troubled youth, just like those Furbys, Barney, the purple guy from the Wiggles, and the green teletubbie. I'm going to go hang out with them and RULE THE WORLD! *evil Kikyo laugh* *he goes and hangs out with them and they plot to rule the world using platypuses of doom!*  
  
Sango: You think you know a guy  
  
Inuyasha: drama queen  
  
Shippo: *from a distance* Why thank you!  
  
Kirara: *switches little, fire, little, fire, little, fire*  
  
Inuyasha: BBQ anyone?  
  
Sango: Why, I'd be thrilled!  
  
Kirara: *stares and makes 'eep' 'eep' sounds*  
  
Sango and Inuyasha advance with hungry stares*  
  
**several hours later**  
  
Sango: All these times I was dying of hunger and I could have just eaten Kirara!  
  
Inuyasha: Pats her tummy  
  
Sango: Inuyasha *giggles*  
  
Inuyasha: *thinking* finally, alone with Sango  
  
Sango: *thinking* finally, alone with Inuyasha  
  
*Inuyasha and Sango's faces get closer until the almost touch*  
  
Inuyasha: *perks up and is ears twitch* Pickles, anyone  
  
Sango: Yes please!  
  
Inuyasha: *sits up suddenly* I feel a presence here, it's so familiar, but I don't remember whose it is!  
  
Sango =: *alert* is it Naraku?  
  
*they hear rummaging behind the bushes and out come Sesshomaru and Rin*  
  
Sesshomaru: did I hear the word 'pickle' mentioned earlier?  
  
Rin: *holds up tampon* what's this?  
  
Inuyasha: A torture device!  
  
Sesshomaru: An after dinner mint!!  
  
Sango: *grabs it just before it reaches Sesshomaru's tongue* I'll tell you when you're older Rin  
  
*the boys look confused*  
  
Rin: *Begins to rummage through some more*  
  
Sesshomaru: I was going to eat that  
  
Sango: *stares*  
  
Inuyasha: *stares down at the pickles in his hand* anyone want a pickle?  
  
*they all sit back and eat the pickles for 2.3478 hours*  
  
Naraku:*up in a thundercloud singing* where have all the pickles gone.  
  
Rin: Is it just me, or does he look hotter up in a thundercloud than anywhere else?  
  
Sesshomaru: *looks down at her in confusion and worry* I thought you admitted your undying love to Kohaku last week.  
  
Rin: So, look at how many times Kikyo told Inuyasha she loved him, and besides, Naraku is SO much hotter than Kohaku!  
  
Inuyasha: *begins to sing 'You don't send me flowers anymore'*  
  
Sango: Amen to that Rin!  
  
Inuyasha: I thought we were just sharing 'moments'  
  
Sango: You know, Naraku does look pretty hot in that thundercloud of his.  
  
Naraku: *jumps off thundercloud* how do I look down here?  
  
Rin: You know, Kohaku looks a lot hotter now  
  
Sesshomaru: My toe is twitching  
  
Rin: *pulls thong underwear out of Kagome's back pack* What is this? Does it go on your head like a hat? *pulls it on head and runs around in circles*  
  
Sango:*blushes and turns away*  
  
Inuyasha: I want a hat too! *pulls another thong out of Kagome's back pack, sticks it on his head, and runs around in circles*  
  
Naraku and Sesshomaru: (at the same time) I want to too! *Follows Inuyasha's example*  
  
Inuyasha: Join us Sango! *tries to wink but fails miserably*  
  
Sango: fine *pulls one out of her own pack and joins them*  
  
**several days later**  
  
~They realize they are hungry, and out of pickles~  
  
Rin: *stops running and falls down* Fluffy, I'm hungry.  
  
Sesshomaru: Don't call me fluffy  
  
Rin: OK Poofy  
  
Inuyasha: *stops chasing Sango's butt* That's what I used to call you. Do you remember that Poofy? *his eyes water up*  
  
Sesshomaru: After father and our mothers died. Yes, I do remember that. Bow Wow  
  
Inuyasha: BROTHER!!, erm half-BROTHER!  
  
*they hug*  
  
Rin: ewww *pulls out the last moldy old pickle and shudders*  
  
Naraku: *Grabs away the pickle and stuffs it in his mouth* Yum, it was a pink one  
  
Sango: How could you tell?  
  
Rin:*about to cry* my pickle!  
  
Sesshomaru: *pulls away from Inuyasha and turns the Tokijin on Naraku* GRRROOOWWLLLL, YOU.HURT.RIN'S.FEELERS!  
  
Naraku: Feelers?  
  
Sesshomaru: I, uh, mean, uh, feelings, yes, feelings.. *slices Naraku in half and mutters under breath* he knew too much.  
  
Rin: *blushes because now her secret is out*  
  
Inuyasha: I always wondered why her hair was like that.  
  
Sango: I know, how 5 minutes ago is that hairstyle, and don't even get me started on your pants Inuyasha, and Sesshomaru, you littly fluffy boa and odd tattoes, how 2 era's ago is that! Naraku, sorry hun, but that eyeshadow does nothing for your complexion, in that baboon pelt makes your figure look horrific! Puh- leeze  
  
Inuyasha: Sango, Naraku is dead  
  
Sango: You're just jealous because you don't have your own self help column for the ugly!  
  
Inuyasha: *mutters under breath* I know  
  
Sesshomaru: wait, I love my tattoes, they were a fathers day gift from Rin!  
  
Rin: *cries because Sango made fun of the tatoes she worked so hard on*  
  
Kouga: *pops out of nowhere, sees Rin crying, and pats her on the head*  
  
Rin: *looks up* DUDE, where are your pants! Or at least some underwear!*tries to shield her eyes*  
  
Kouga: But then how would I get the nice breezy feeling?  
  
Sango: pulls thong off her head and lends it to Kouga.  
  
Kouga: How do I wear this?  
  
Sango: Like underwear.  
  
Kouga: *puts it on and shakes his booty*its like a permanent wedgie. Curse this tail! It doesn't fit right!  
  
Inuyasha:*complains about being hungry and they all go off in search of pickles*  
  
**Kikyo pops out of nowhere**  
  
Kikyo:*shifty eyes* I know the way to the pickles  
  
Rin: *goes up to Kikyo* did I say you could talk? *whines* there's no one hot since Naraku died!  
  
Sesshomaru: *looks hurt, but brings Naraku back with the Tensaiga* Are you happy now?!  
  
Rin: *smiles* yes my lord!  
  
Naraku: you killed me! I thought what we had was special!  
  
Sesshomaru: *backs away slowly*  
  
Rin: I'm hungry! Argh! I'm insane with hunger! Feed me!! *hulk eye flashy thing*  
  
Sesshomaru: Jaken, get for fat toad butt over here!  
  
Jaken: *pops up out of nowhere*  
  
Rin: *goes to Jaken, pulling the thong off her head*  
  
Jaken: Starts to back away  
  
Sesshomaru: don't move  
  
Rin: *goes up to Jaken and strangle him to death with her thong* Ahhh, I feel better  
  
Sango: *looks startled* behold, the many wonders of the thong  
  
Inuyasha: I'm hungry, why don't I get to kill a toad?  
  
Naraku: hmm, we could EAT the toad.  
  
**several hours later**  
  
Sesshomaru: all those times I was starving of hunger and I could of just ate Jaken  
  
Sango: Hey, that's my line!  
  
Rin: I want a pickle!  
  
Kikyo: I already told you, I know the path to the pickles!  
  
Inuyasha: *just noticing Kikyo* K-k-kikyo?  
  
Sango: hey, WE were just sharing 'moments!!'  
  
Inuyasha: Oh yeah..  
  
Rin: I WANT A PICKLE!  
  
Kikyo: I know the way to the da-  
  
Sesshomaru: *slices Kikyo with the Tenseiga*  
  
Inuyasha: KIKYO!!!  
  
Kikyo: I'm already dead stupid  
  
Inuyasha: oh yeah.  
  
Kikyo: ok, first you turn around 3 times in circles. Then you hop up and down flapping your arms like wings! Then, you..  
  
Naraku: Stupid wench, just give me the directions!  
  
Inuyasha: don't talk down to her like that!  
  
Naraku: *mutters under breath* stupid idiot  
  
Kikyo: Fine! You go strait about 3 steps, turn right, and there they are! 


End file.
